So my first year of college is over...

College was kind of weird. Not in the sense that it wasn’t fun, on the contrary, it was very fun, and the amount of freedom I had was really uplifting! But weird in the sense it wasn’t really what I was expecting. Classes were a lot easier than I thought they’d be (no deathly grind or anything that people sometimes peddle), and I didn’t have that much work to do, which led to me sleeping in a lot (but hey, I grew like 2 or 3 inches, so that’s a win in my books) and generally being bored all the time. Especially during first semester I was really confused because I was taking near the maximum credit load allowed and still felt like I didn’t have any work.

I remember the first month or two feeling a tad bit lonely, but I made some awesome friends pretty fast so that wasn’t really a prolonged issue. It was lonely in the sense that I’ve never really been lying there alone in the dark (I did not have a roommate) with no one but my own thoughts to keep me company. So sometimes I would go on these very strange thought trails and wouldn’t be able to sleep. Being in the dark is a really interesting experience…

In terms of classes, first semester, I had one class that I didn’t really enjoy, because it was a superficial “popular science” class that I didn’t see the point of. The rest of my classes were alright, though. I took abstract algebra, topology, and honors mechanics, and then another required class in literature but it was actually fun this time. The first semester of algebra ended up being very underwhelming and extremely slow paced, and our physics professor’s course notes were thoroughly detailed, so my motivation to attend lectures was very sporadic and weak. Topology was a fun challenge (moreso that everyone was scoring high so to do well I had to too), and algebraic topology makes my head go round. My grades were fine, and I didn’t really do anything extracurricular first semester, but I got rather familiar with the transportation systems around and explored the city a lot which was nice. It also only takes like 3 hours to go home so I can go home pretty often.

Second semester was way better, though. I only took 4 classes this time: algebra II which was rings, fields, and galois theory, honors e&m, Writing: AI and Society, and the second semester of the fun literature class. I tried taking 5, but I overestimated how much complex analysis I remember from 3 years ago and dropped analytic number theory earlier on (I also found the content, kinda boring. I never really liked classical number theory so I don’t really know why I took analytic number theory… the bit of algebraic number theory we did in abstract algebra was cool though, so maybe that’s where all the interesting stuff is?) because I didn’t want to spend all my time learning a subject I don’t enjoy. Physics was rather nice though. Once again it was difficult to find the motivation to attend lectures, but I think this will go away as I start to take more advanced classes.

As for where I’ll go from here classes-wise, I’m trying to finish my math major requirements early so I have more space to play around with. I’m thinking of taking commutative algebra and knot theory next semester, and then taking humanities classes to round off more graduation requirements. I’m happy I’m able to start approaching subjects that I think are deeply interesting and not have to wade through prerequisites, because as long as you think you can handle it most classes are easily registered for. Which was not the case in high school, but this is a plesant surprise.

I did more extracurricular stuff second semester too. I started working in a computational biophysics research lab, where my research project is about using deep learning to engineer arbitrary ligand binding pockets (sorry for the jargon) with some important restrictions and considerations. My work is basically all CS, it’s all machine learning and neural networks. The papers are really cool, they have a surprising amount of math in them (a lot of graph theory, some differential geometry / lie theory, rigorous probability, and some optimization theory) which is really nice. I also started playing the shakuhachi, which is a japanese end-blown flute, and it’s been super fun and I met some amazing people. Definitely going to continue doing it in the future, the instrument is just so beautiful. I’ve actually been wanting to learn it for a long time because I loved the sound (I grew up on OST tracks featuring it), and was really surprised (pleasantly) to see that opportunity just lying under my nose! I actually found out about the entire world music program from a random confession post on a facebook page. Coincidences…

I still haven’t figured out some important questions, like what I want to pursue career-wise (I think I’m even more confused now…) but I’ve got a while to figure that out, I think. Living alone was a challenge, in that there were no external motivators anymore, which I think is a theme that pervades my college experience so far. Finding internal motivation to do everything is a new reality. Which isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes I have to do things I don’t really have an interest in doing, which I didn’t have to do before (or if I did, they didn’t require much effort). I’ve got a lot of exploring to do.

One last thing, turns out I don’t like cold weather anymore. Yikes…